The Procedural Mind
Baptiste Ormsby-Kaczmarek
Executive Director of International Standards
“A standard that can be argued with is merely a suggestion with a letterhead.”
Biography
Baptiste Ormsby-Kaczmarek is the custodian of the International Standards, a corpus of 1,214 numbered provisions governing everything from the angle of a pour to the permissible tone of a pause. He is reported never to have been late, never to have been surprised and never to have been seen without a bow tie, which he regards as a matter of Standard 14.3(b).
He joined the Institution from the Bureau of Vintage Reconciliation, where he drafted the Uniform Procedure for the Opening of Bottles in the Presence of Witnesses. His reforms of the Standards Register reduced contradictions between provisions from 212 to 209, a result he has called “modest, but permanent.” Colleagues describe him as the only person who has read the Register in full and the only person who has been asked to.
Career history
- 2012–presentExecutive Director of International StandardsThe Shit Wine Guide
- 2005–2012Registrar of ProvisionsBureau of Vintage Reconciliation
- 1998–2005Deputy Controller of ProcedureLower Ashmere Cellar Appraisal Board
- 1993–1998Standards Officer (Corks)The Meridian Decanting Society
- 1991–1993Junior Clerk of ProvisionsBureau of Vintage Reconciliation
Personal philosophy
A standard that can be argued with is merely a suggestion with a letterhead.
Professional achievements
- Consolidated the International Standards into a single, numbered Register
- Drafted the Uniform Procedure for the Opening of Bottles
- Reduced inter-provision contradictions by 1.4 per cent
Industry contributions
- Custodian of the Standards Register
- Convenor of the Standards Review Panel
- Author of the annual Statement of Provisional Clarifications
Read the author’s work in the library
- The Pretension Gradient: Quantifying the Decanter Effect (Expert Opinion)